Loneliness as a redemtion

The weekend was awful. For the first time I wanted it to be over to go to work and talk to people. It's not much better today but at least I'm not alone in the apartment. OK, I haven't spend the whole weekend alone in the apartment but it was still very hard.
I joined Ade and some other people on Friday, we had a few drinks at Noel's and then we went to a party by the river, in Zlute Lazne. It was OK. It was nice with the river right there, we were sitting on the pier chatting. I came back home quite late so Saturday was a lazy day. I went to Vysehrad, where I met a friend of a friend. It was nice. I needed to talk to someone. But that was short and I was too tired to join Ade & co. for a boat party that they planned. And yesterday was another lonely day. I went to church and cleaned the kitchen (finally!) but I was done around 4pm. And I had nothing else to do. I didn't want to go to Vysehrad again. It was too hot for skating and too cold for swimming. I wasn't in a mood for any movie either. It was a bad day.
Fortunately today is a new day. Not that it's much better. I'm still depressed. People are going to karaoke but I don't like it and I'm not in a mood for a big party. But Lida and Andrea are in town so maybe I'll go out somewhere. I don't know myself what I want. (That's not new, should get used to it.)
I need to find me some new friends, see some new faces. But when you're not a student any more, it seems extremely difficult.
I'm such an idiot! I need a brain surgery. Or better heart surgery!
This should a good time, a redemption time! But I'm not able to make use of it without someone to share this time with. Which makes no sense because I was supposed to be alone and enjoy it!